A Letter To Mothers of ADHDers

Posted on May 6 2016 - 4:27pm by My Little Villagers

A Letter to Mothers of ADHDers

Dear Mothers of ADHDers,

This Mother’s Day, I want you to know how truly special and appreciated you are. Being a mother to a child with ADHD and raising them in the society we live in today¬†can be¬†difficult, challenging, and frustrating, but you do it and you do it well. There is no other person that can love, help, support, and advocate for your child as well as you. You are your child’s greatest and most powerful gift and not a day goes by that your child doesn’t see that. Your child may not show their appreciation for you, but what you are doing for them is so important. You probably never get so much as a simple “Thank you” from them for helping them¬†with their homework. They may even act out and say or do mean things to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t see¬†you trying your best for them. It may take some time (years or decades even) for them to truly appreciate all that you do for them, but trust me, they see all that you are doing for them now and they will remember it all.

When your child comes home from school crying because so-and-so made fun of them for stuttering,¬†because their words can’t keep up with their turbo-speed mind, it is you who comforts them and gives them words of encouragement. And when your child comes home from school with a note from the teacher saying that they moved their clip all the way up, it is you who screams with happiness and excitement for them and jumps around for joy with them to celebrate their accomplishment. It is you who is your child’s everything. It is¬†you who is your child’s biggest fan and cheerleader. There are doctors, behavioral therapy, medications, fidgets, etc. that can help children with ADHD, but honestly, it is¬†you who is your child’s greatest “tool.” Your unconditional love, understanding, compassion, and patience is what is going to help your child succeed and soar.

Without a second thought, you embrace your child for who they are. You don’t try to change them or mold them into something they are not. As your child gets older, there will be others who will do the same for your child and you will absolutely adore these people. They will be a tremendous blessing. They will most likely be your child’s best friend and if you’re lucky, they may be your child’s teacher. Even still, there simply is nothing that compares to a mother’s love. You hoped and prayed for¬†your child before you even became pregnant. You then carried your child¬†in your womb for nine long months, went through excruciating pain when they were born, and nurtured and cared for them as an infant. You are now raising them, teaching them, guiding them, and loving them 24/7 and as they are getting older, you are doing this more and more. It’s not slowing down. If anything, it is speeding up, but you are up to the challenge and do you know what? You got this, mamma! You are absolutely amazing and your child is incredibly lucky to have you as their mother.

Believe me, I know what¬†you go through on a daily basis and it definitely isn’t sunshine and rainbows. There are times when I feel like I am failing my daughter and I feel like there must be something more I can do to help her. My heart breaks when I see her struggle and to be quite honest, there¬†have been some nights when I’ve cried myself to sleep because of it. But then I remember how far my daughter has come and all of the great things she has accomplished. I remind myself that I am getting my daughter all of the help and support she needs. Managing her ADHD will¬†simply take time. She is only six and I am doing the best I can. There will be bad days, but there will also be many good days. There will be setbacks, but there will also be a lot of progress. There will be tears, but there will also be a lot of smiles and laughter. How do I know this? Because I am her mother and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to ensure she has a great life. I know you will do the same for your child.

To all of my fellow mothers of children with ADHD, Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,

A Mother of an ADHDer

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41 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Kristy Tenio May 6, 2016 at 6:00 PM - Reply

    Thank you thank you thank you! You have no idea how much this meant to me today. Thank you…

    • Cristina Margolis May 6, 2016 at 6:06 PM - Reply

      You are so welcome. I am glad you enjoyed my letter to you. Thank YOU for being an amazing mother! Happy Mother’s Day!

  2. Yvette aguilar May 6, 2016 at 6:23 PM - Reply

    Thank u so much for your words!! My daughter has been struggleing scince she was 4 now shes 8. Still havent found right meds to help her. Ive taken her to many phychologist,phyciatrist, therapist and is attending OT and speech therapy. I hate seeing her struggle. This weeks have been a struggle at school due to medication changes and sometimes i feel like im not doing enough and dont know what else to do. Honestly your words made me tear up. Thanks

  3. Rebecca May 6, 2016 at 6:34 PM - Reply

    I couldn’t have articulated it better. Thank you from all the moms that feel like no one understands the daily struggles they go through.

  4. Marcella Trevino May 6, 2016 at 6:46 PM - Reply

    Thank you, it’s been so disheartening for the past 8yrs feeling like a failure and unappreciated. Come to find out this is out normal and we wouldn’t change them for anything ‚ô°

  5. Tracy May 6, 2016 at 6:49 PM - Reply

    Thank you so much for these wonderful words. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Happy super Mother’s Day to everyone.

  6. Christina May 6, 2016 at 6:50 PM - Reply

    OMG thank you so much for this letter. It means so much for us mom s struggling with a child with ADHD. And hearing this will touch so many hearts. Thank you

  7. Ann May 6, 2016 at 6:58 PM - Reply

    This is true and will remain true as the child with ADHD becomes an adult. My son is 34 and today I have had 15 texts from him because life is ‘stressing him out’. He didn’t get a diagnosis when he was at school so I truly hope your little ones have an easier passage through life.

  8. Martina May 6, 2016 at 7:08 PM - Reply

    Thank you so much for this beautiful letter. I am so touched. It made me cry, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you a million!! Happy Mother’s Day ūüôā

  9. Tracy May 6, 2016 at 8:08 PM - Reply

    Thank you so much for this. I needed this today. I’m literally in tears now. It has been a rough week with my son. Being sent home from school and just down to no one knowing how to deal with the issues. Lately there have been more storms than rainbows

  10. Jan Z May 6, 2016 at 8:57 PM - Reply

    Thank from me for the child I raised mostly as a single mom. We were so very close. We laughed, we cried, we argued, but with unconditional love. He had a fun & crazy sense of humor & people loved him. He had a drug addiction at worst age 24 & at 28 he hated his life and so he ended it. My world is still crushed. Now I have 3 ADHD grandkids with no father but 1 wonderful daughter in law who is doing a fab job for their 6 yo & also posted this. Thank you!!!!

  11. Amber May 6, 2016 at 8:59 PM - Reply

    Thank u from the bottom of my heart for this letter. I have just started on this journey with mr 6 and i feel like i could do more

  12. Becki May 6, 2016 at 9:34 PM - Reply

    This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!

  13. Eldana May 6, 2016 at 9:36 PM - Reply

    Thank you so much for expressing so well all the feelings, challenges and rewards of being an adhd’er mommy, I’m very grateful for having the privilege to see grow up my amazing little man.

  14. Monica May 6, 2016 at 9:38 PM - Reply

    Thank you! Your post reminds me how important it is to maintain a positive outlook. My 5 yo struggles with impulsivity and hyperactivity. Which makes it hard to contain misbehavior. Both my husband and I have undiagnosed adhd and my biggest hope is that I can use my experiences to help him in any way I can. Happy Mother’s Day to all!!!

  15. Deborah May 6, 2016 at 11:07 PM - Reply

    Thank you so much for penning this. I felt like you were writing to ME! I’d just sucked up my tears for my son and then I read your letter. God bless you and your baby!

  16. Kim May 6, 2016 at 11:54 PM - Reply

    Beautifully said. Thank you. ‚ėļ

  17. Jolene May 7, 2016 at 12:01 AM - Reply

    Wow, I feel like I’m always expressing my beautiful boys needs. He often comes home from school frustrated but the days he doesn’t are high five days.
    I no longer worry about others opinions as I know how far he’s come and the constant fight he has everyday to conform. I’m proud to be his Mum and although he often feels I’m mean lol he still hugs me tight because I love you so much Mummy xx

  18. Jennifer May 7, 2016 at 12:49 AM - Reply

    Thank you life with 2 tween boys with ADHD is so challenging and at the same time I know years from now my work will have paid off. I am hoping the teenage years will be better, but something tells me I am in for some rocky years. No matter what I will keep advocating, teaching and loving them. Happy Mother’s Day to us moms with spirited kids.

  19. Aileen May 7, 2016 at 12:52 AM - Reply

    Thank youūüė•

  20. Twesi May 7, 2016 at 12:56 AM - Reply

    Thank you so much for this letter, brought me to tears! Happy super moms’ day to all of us who were chosen to guide these extra special beautiful children! I believe our love and continued efforts will pay off, it has to.

  21. amanda May 7, 2016 at 2:06 AM - Reply

    I know what it’s like I have an adhd/odd son and a epileptic /adhd daughter my son is 17 adhd ND graduates this year my life hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows he’s destroyed everything we’ve owned bedrooms windows quads trampoline etc………… but isn’t the end we fought and fought for him to be where he is today I didn’t think I’d see him graduate but I’m glad he is he has this mom proud and my daughter was just diagnosed 2 years ago thanks for your article

  22. Diana May 7, 2016 at 3:19 AM - Reply

    Thank you! It is soooooo true. My son fights says mean things, but still wants me and only to help him and my husband my son doesn’t want him near. Here we take it all, but at the end he says I love you!

  23. Martha Jones May 7, 2016 at 3:49 AM - Reply

    Thank you! This was just perfect. Happy Mother’s Day!

  24. Nicole Fimbel May 7, 2016 at 5:12 AM - Reply

    Thank you! I cried reading this. Hearing beautiful word like this is so hear warming. You made my day! My son is my world, and 6 yrs old like your daughter. So glad therecare other great moms to adhders out there!

  25. Bulelwa May 7, 2016 at 5:31 AM - Reply

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart cause it’s not easy raising them but will never give up on them either. I love my son dearly. Much love and respect always.

  26. Veronica May 7, 2016 at 12:43 PM - Reply

    Thank you ! This is beautiful and it made me feel like it was written for me. Happy Mother’s Day ‚̧ԳŹ

  27. Brittany May 7, 2016 at 1:46 PM - Reply

    This is so very appreciated. I have two children with ADHD and I have it as well, and I often feel inadequate to deal with the day to day. You have helped me to feel relevant. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and Happy Mother’s Day from me to you!

  28. Yvette Lautier May 7, 2016 at 2:20 PM - Reply

    Thank you , I really need it , just confirmed this week that my year old boy has the condition of ADHD , although i was anticipated the report it`s a bit of shock for me but reading this made me feel much better. Thanks again and wish you all a Happy Mother`s day

  29. Liz May 7, 2016 at 3:09 PM - Reply

    Thank you for writing this! My 12 yr old son ended up in the Mental Health Unit for 6 weeks this past Christmas. I never realized the seriousness of what ADHD, ODD, and PTSD (did I mention the poor kid is only 12) would do to anyone. He wanted to die. His school ruined him but saved him in the end. I am doing this on my own. No support from his ‘father’ at all. Finally, with the help of the Children’s Hospital and the amazing staff, they got him into the Day Treatment Program and got him on the proper medication, supported him, and helped ME realize how I can support him as well. Our kids never came with a manual. If they did, it would have made things somewhat easier. When I feel like a failure, I remember that I am truly all he has. We are close. He is the number 1 in my life! He is special, he is amazing. He has a love for our pets and others that suffer. He has an amazing heart and the BEST sense of humor. This made me realize that if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

    Sorry for the novel, and thank you again for your amazing letter! Our kids make us grow but our hearts make us love!

    Happy Mother’s Day!!

  30. Kate May 8, 2016 at 4:08 PM - Reply

    Your post touched me so much. xxxx

  31. Janet May 11, 2016 at 2:58 PM - Reply

    Even reading it after mothers day, I love it.

  32. Michelle June 24, 2016 at 8:34 PM - Reply

    I am reading all of this way too late….having just been fathers day.

    But just thought I’d say
    Thank you.

    Reading this was a real treat.

    It was the gesture I needed but sometimes never get…

    BIG THANK YOU.

  33. Dana thielk May 12, 2017 at 10:11 PM - Reply

    Thank you for this post. I know you are only in the beginning of your journey. I have a twelve year old with severe ADHD and he has grown, matured and improved by leaps and bounds. So many people including family just don’t understand and criticize him and our parenting. My 10 year old daughter struggles with attention as well and I’m pretty sure my 5 year old has ADHD as well. It is a struggle and it takes an army of people to support your kids and you! Thank you for your post and all that you do for your daughter. Someday they will all be great adults(it’s my mantra on really bad days:)

  34. Beverly May 12, 2017 at 10:39 PM - Reply

    Thank you from one mother to another. My son will be 20 in July. Every parent teacher conference, I cried my eyes out. We had some major setbacks, we were failed by the school, we did the best we could and he is doing his best on his own. You too will get thru this, and I hope you remember your own letter, and know that you have many support systems out there to help you. It’s early yet, but you’ll make it!

  35. Kelly May 13, 2017 at 12:01 AM - Reply

    What about the rest of moms who Has ADHD/ADD?? I have both and im a single mom raising two boys. My oldest son has autism. I’m sorry but people don’t understand how overwhelming it is too have ADHD/ADD. I would like to see articles of mothera who has ADHD/ADD not just raising children with ADHD

  36. Connieie May 13, 2017 at 12:27 AM - Reply

    My daughter Stefanie is now 39 she is a wonderful woman and a champion of any one who struggles she is off meds but she has a hard time sometimes and thinks about going back on but because she is an adult insurance doesn’t like to pay for meds so she struggles sometimes but all in all she does well. I know we struggled‚Äč with all you said in your letter and more. But it is all worth it At six I was at the school more than I can count but we got through it alot of patients and love

  37. Connie May 13, 2017 at 12:39 AM - Reply

    I just read all the comments in junior high school, we found a note from my Stefanie saying she wanted to end her life because of the bulling, the school was not helping so I ask a wonderful social person from a school she had attended she put us in touch with the right doctor and she was tested at our wonderful children’s hospital we went through a lot of counseling and with help her self confidence started to come back. And with alot of visits to her school we got through it and high school was easier the letter was wonderfu. Thank you for writing it

  38. Yvette Coleman May 13, 2017 at 5:26 AM - Reply

    Thank you so much. This gives me hope!

  39. Stephanie May 13, 2017 at 6:27 AM - Reply

    Stay strong ladies, those of you who are in the thick of it with children 4-10. It does get better. Stay strong for your child. Trust your gut and fight for them. Get the help they need, leave no stone un turned, different things work for different kids. Ive spent so many nights with my face buried in the floor crying and praying for my son, cringing every time the phone rings that its the school, sitting there while a resource officer reads him his rights, afraid of his next meltdown. But my prayers are being answered after being led to a functional medicine doctor. Thank you Jesus.

  40. Lorraine May 13, 2017 at 11:33 AM - Reply

    Woow what a great message . Feeling home and feeling like crying it’s so true .it’s a great feeling when you realise that you’re not alone ,no you’re not crazy,no it’s normal!! It’s really a wonderful message for mums like us .thanks xxx

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