Dear Mothers of ADHDers,
This Mother’s Day, I want you to know how truly special and appreciated you are. Being a mother to a child with ADHD and raising them in the society we live in today can be difficult, challenging, and frustrating, but you do it and you do it well. There is no other person that can love, help, support, and advocate for your child as well as you. You are your child’s greatest and most powerful gift and not a day goes by that your child doesn’t see that. Your child may not show their appreciation for you, but what you are doing for them is so important. You probably never get so much as a simple “Thank you” from them for helping them with their homework. They may even act out and say or do mean things to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t see you trying your best for them. It may take some time (years or decades even) for them to truly appreciate all that you do for them, but trust me, they see all that you are doing for them now and they will remember it all.
When your child comes home from school crying because so-and-so made fun of them for stuttering, because their words can’t keep up with their turbo-speed mind, it is you who comforts them and gives them words of encouragement. And when your child comes home from school with a note from the teacher saying that they moved their clip all the way up, it is you who screams with happiness and excitement for them and jumps around for joy with them to celebrate their accomplishment. It is you who is your child’s everything. It is you who is your child’s biggest fan and cheerleader. There are doctors, behavioral therapy, medications, fidgets, etc. that can help children with ADHD, but honestly, it is you who is your child’s greatest “tool.” Your unconditional love, understanding, compassion, and patience is what is going to help your child succeed and soar.
Without a second thought, you embrace your child for who they are. You don’t try to change them or mold them into something they are not. As your child gets older, there will be others who will do the same for your child and you will absolutely adore these people. They will be a tremendous blessing. They will most likely be your child’s best friend and if you’re lucky, they may be your child’s teacher. Even still, there simply is nothing that compares to a mother’s love. You hoped and prayed for your child before you even became pregnant. You then carried your child in your womb for nine long months, went through excruciating pain when they were born, and nurtured and cared for them as an infant. You are now raising them, teaching them, guiding them, and loving them 24/7 and as they are getting older, you are doing this more and more. It’s not slowing down. If anything, it is speeding up, but you are up to the challenge and do you know what? You got this, mamma! You are absolutely amazing and your child is incredibly lucky to have you as their mother.
Believe me, I know what you go through on a daily basis and it definitely isn’t sunshine and rainbows. There are times when I feel like I am failing my daughter and I feel like there must be something more I can do to help her. My heart breaks when I see her struggle and to be quite honest, there have been some nights when I’ve cried myself to sleep because of it. But then I remember how far my daughter has come and all of the great things she has accomplished. I remind myself that I am getting my daughter all of the help and support she needs. Managing her ADHD will simply take time. She is only six and I am doing the best I can. There will be bad days, but there will also be many good days. There will be setbacks, but there will also be a lot of progress. There will be tears, but there will also be a lot of smiles and laughter. How do I know this? Because I am her mother and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to ensure she has a great life. I know you will do the same for your child.
To all of my fellow mothers of children with ADHD, Happy Mother’s Day!
Love,
A Mother of an ADHDer
