One of my “Bad Mom” confessions is I still rock my baby to sleep.
You’re probably thinking, “Yeah, so? What’s so bad about rocking your baby to sleep?” Well, my “baby” is three years old. Yes, I know she is too old to be rocked to sleep and yes, I know we must look absolutely ridiculous. (I am 5ft tall, so my daughter is already about half my size.), but this is something I have done since Day 1.
The Cry It Out (CIO) Method was just not my style. It still isn’t. As soon as I would hear my baby begin to cry, I’d go into her nursery and pick her up and rock her back to sleep. Because of this, she never learned to self soothe and it was completely my fault, but I don’t care. I am her mother and one of my jobs as a mother is to soothe my baby. Why should my baby have to be alone in the dark, scared, sad, and/or angry, and have to deal with those feelings all on her own? I know other parents who have had success with CIO with their children and I applaud them for it, but it just isn’t my parenting style. To each their own, I say.
Every night, I take my daughter in my arms and sing lullabies to her. I gaze at her angelic face and watch her eyes slowly close and open, close and open, until they finally close and stay closed as she drifts off to dreamland. There is no better feeling than knowing I am her greatest comforter. I am her safe place. After she falls asleep, I gently lay her down on her toddler bed, tuck her in, and kiss her forehead. That’s how it has always been and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
She is my last child (I’ve got two kids and two arms. I’m good.) and I know how quickly the years go by, so as exhausted as I am after working 12 hours and as much as my arms hurt from holding her in my arms every night, the joy I feel in my heart is completely worth it. Before I know it, she will be off to elementary school and won’t think I’m a “cool” mom anymore. She’ll want to be with her friends. Not Mommy.
Time is precious and so is my baby girl, so for as long as she will let me, my arms will always be open for her. Sweet dreams, sweet angel!