In Response To Nicole Arbour’s Video “The Truth About ADHD”

Posted on Apr 28 2017 - 7:04pm by My Little Villagers

 

Dear Miss Arbour,

I was one of the unfortunate people who viewed your video “The Truth About ADHD.”  I am not a violent person, but the words that came out of your mouth made me want to punch you in the face.  Not only were you obnoxious and idiotic, you were completely ignorant about ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and were giving your uneducated opinion about a real mental disorder that affects over one billion people worldwide, according to CHADD.  ADHD is nothing to scoff at and your video made me and many other people (particularly parents of children with ADHD) extremely irate.

You don’t know me and I don’t know if you will ever read this, but I am a mother of an amazing seven year old girl with ADHD.  I am also married to a wonderful man with ADHD.  I can assure you that ADHD is very real and it has been around for a very long time.  There have always been people with ADHD.  It’s just that now there is an actual name for it and much more scientific research has been done over the years.  That is why it is easier to diagnose now.  ADHD affects people every day in a number of ways, both positively and negatively.  According to Child Mind Institute, ADHD is “classified as a psychiatric disorder, which simply means that it’s a condition that involves mental functioning that causes significant impairment.”

You claim that children diagnosed with ADHD are just hyper and that’s just the way kids are.  Since you do not have a child with ADHD (or any children at all for that matter), you have no idea what you are talking about.  There are three different types of ADHD – 1. Inattentive, 2. Hyperactive, and 3. Combined.  Not all children with ADHD are hyper!  ADHD affects people differently, just like Autism.  When a child is diagnosed with ADHD, more coexisting conditions can arise as well, such as depression, anxiety, oppositional defiance disorder, bipolar disorder, and more.  I know you think that is all BS as well, because you have no experience with ADHD, but I can assure you from experience it’s not. It completely shattered my heart and soul when my then six year old daughter told me she wanted to die.  Can you imagine a child who hasn’t even lost a tooth yet wanting to end her life?  Of course you can’t, Nicole, or else you wouldn’t have made your video.  ADHD, depression, and all the other coexisting conditions are nothing to belittle and make fun of.  Don’t give me that crap that these children are that way because of bad parenting either.  I may not be perfect, but I am a damn good mother and I would do anything for my children.  ADHD is genetic and it never goes away, no matter how awesome of a parent you are.  You can’t get rid of ADHD, but you can find ways to help lessen the negative effects of ADHD and harness the positive effects of ADHD by using tools/aids, accommodations at school and work, dietary changes, and of course, the big one: medication.

You claim that parents are “drugging their kids for acting like kids.”  You are so out of line here!  Deciding to put your child on medication is a very personal decision, not to mention very emotional and stressful.  Most parents of ADHDers first try alternative methods before trying medication, such as behavioral therapy and dietary changes.  If they work for the child, that is wonderful, but that is not the case for most children, including mine.  My husband and I hoped our daughter would respond well to treatment without medication, but she was one of many who needed more help.  That is exactly what ADHD medication is: Help.  You wouldn’t deny a child with diabetes or epilepsy their medication, right?  (I’d hope not, Nicole!)  So then why deny a child with ADHD their medication if they need it?  Just because ADHD is an invisible disability doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously.  By allowing our daughter to take ADHD medication, she is getting the help, support, care, and love she needs and deserves.  With her medication, she is excelling in school and extracurricular activities.  She is making friends.  She has gained self confidence.  She is thriving.  What were once my tears for feeling guilty, embarrassed, and like a failure are now my happy tears for being able to help my child be happy with herself and her ADHD.

Before your video, I didn’t even know who you were.  Actually, I still don’t know who you are and to be honest, I don’t care.  Since it has only been one day since you posted your video and it has over two million views though, I felt the need to write this letter to you, to your followers, and to anyone who sees this ridiculously idiotic video, to set everyone straight about ADHD and to defend people with ADHD, as well as the many families and friends who love them.  There is so much more to ADHD than what I wrote about here though, so if anyone who reads this would like to learn more about ADHD, please feel free to join our ADHDmazing tribe at My Little Villagers, where there is no judgement. Only love, respect, and compassion… oh, and no obnoxious videos about subjects I clearly have no knowledge about.

Respectively Bye Felicia,

Cristina Margolis

Founder of My Little Villagers

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7 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Lisa Fluharty April 28, 2017 at 7:50 PM - Reply

    A huge round of applause from me!! My middle daughter is a bright and funny 9 year old who has ADHD, combined type, and SPD. She also has diagnosed coordination issues. She has brightened our lives from the moment she was born.
    She struggles to make and keep friends, she needs movement, she can get very down on herself. In December, she told is for the 3rd time that she had thought about killing herself. Her struggles are REAL. She now, in addition to in-school and private occupational therapies, sees a counselor regularly.
    Our daughter is not medicated. She is an incredibly healthy eater. She is incredibly active and does not watch TV or play video games for hours. She still has these struggles and challenges. We desired to try everything we could before turning to medication and then with much discussion, with her a part of that decision.
    I watched part of the video and cannot believe that someone who has no medical or psychiatry background would spew such things and present them as facts. I cannot believe that others would believe it. It is obviously there for clickbait for her to earn an income (I also saw her Facebook page and she has other rants about controversial topics, which always brings views and dollars to her wallet). My hope is that the majority of the clicks were like-minded parents, aghast that unfactual material is being spread.
    I do feel sorry that she was given medication that made her feel badly. That is not the case for everyone. That is HER story, and if true, should be presented as such. Not as a “the drugs are bad, so ADHD doesn’t exist” idea.
    Thanks for the space to vent!

  2. April Woosley April 28, 2017 at 10:33 PM - Reply

    You were spot on! I didn’t have to watch her stupid video to know she’s full of KOOL-AID! I’m so glad you said this because you’re right, we all try different things before actually putting them on meds. I also think that unfortunately the bad behavior that goes with ADHD overshadows all the good. ADHD needs to have a spectrum as well just like Autism because it is different for everyone. It makes me so mad that I just want to slap people upside the head when they make stupid comments on ADHD when they know NOTHING about it. I’m giving you a big high five and lifting you up on my shoulders like you’ve just scored a big score for our team. WAY TO GO! Most of all…THANK YOU!

  3. Emily MacRitchie April 29, 2017 at 4:58 PM - Reply

    As an adult with ADHD you get a huge round of applause from me as well.

    My symptoms didn’t manifest in any way that would have indicated that I have ADHD. I wasn’t hyperactive or a bad kid, I did really well in school, could sit quietly and loved reading, etc etc etc. It wasn’t until I experienced severe depression, extreme anxiety, and was struggling in a Mechanical Engineering job (that’s right, Nicole, I’m studying to be a friggin engineer!) that I got a diagnosis for combined presentation of ADHD (about a month ago).

    The chemical imbalance that was referred to as a “marketing scheme” in the video, are the ones that would have cost me my life two years ago if I hadn’t started taking antidepressants. The same chemical imbalance is now being corrected by my ADHD medication and I’m not struggling with adulting anymore. I can work, solve problems, function well socially, get out of bed in the morning, not have a panic attack every time I step on public transit, etc.

    Wow. Who imagined that mental health could actually be as important as physical health?

    Frig.

    My only request for this post is that you get rid of the link to her idiotic video. I would hate for others like me add another view to her Youtube page simply out of curiosity. Seriously, I think I felt my IQ drop.

  4. trina gebhart May 3, 2017 at 9:15 PM - Reply

    loved your response to miss arbour whoever she is. have a 12 year old grandson. adhd and bipolar. trust me when i say i wish we didn’t need the meds. the fight with insurance every month for the bipolar meds is unreal. doctors forgetting to call in scripts and drugstore taking they’re good ole time refilling. one who hasn’t lived it has no right to even voice an opinion

  5. Dawn May 4, 2017 at 12:48 AM - Reply

    I just want to say I love love love you. I am one of those people that was raised oh you are the way you are and it’s okay. I never got treated as a child and now as an adult I struggle daily. I also have 3 out 4 children that are adhd. My now husband struggled with the fact that they had it but when I finally found a doctor that would listen to me about my struggle it got all to real. I just wanted to say thanks for putting this out there and I didn’t watch the video be side this kind of stupidity really gets me. Thanks again <3

  6. Leah L May 4, 2017 at 5:30 AM - Reply

    I read your response to her video and I love it!!!!!

    I commented to her about it also on FB……3 boys here, all ADHD, 1 has Odd, depression along with it
    2 anxiety issues
    3 ODD…….I have my hands full!!!!!

  7. Courtney May 5, 2017 at 6:02 PM - Reply

    LOVE this. Her video has enraged me. I can not find a reason for ANYONE to judge what I have or have not done to help my child!!! I know there are people who abuse the drugs, drug their kids unnecessarily, or sell the medication BUT there are good parents that had a very hard time making the decision (last resort mind you) that get grouped in that category too. I really enjoyed this post though, thank you.

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